Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize