Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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