My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize