Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
