last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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