I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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