If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
