cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
