How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
