i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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