Screwed.edu
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
