i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
