Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
