So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How does it feel to date your dad?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
