Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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