How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
