So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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