just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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