this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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