Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
