would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
