I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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