I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
