So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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