You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
