We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
