If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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