I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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