last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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