im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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