to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
