he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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