He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
