My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
two words: eviction party
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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