I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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