butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
