Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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