how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thank you for not boning my boss.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
