what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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