Pappa wants mamma naked
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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