her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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