please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is Oprah even human
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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