Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
