Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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