Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
