dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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