you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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