video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
