He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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