ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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