i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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