she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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