Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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