i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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