I think my vagina is haunted
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
3 2 1 whiskey
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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