Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
