I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
