i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
