At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
