dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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