You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
