This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
