so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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